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Mystery Science Theater 3000 Treatment for Hit Movies!
 
Global Streetwear Culture at Karmaloop.com
 
Mystery Science Theater 3000 Treatment for Hit Movies!
 
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F A Qs:
Roman Cabana, celebrated Sector Commander for the Galactic Commonwealth answers the very questions you yourself would undoubtedly ask him if given the chance: |
Q: Josef Stalin; the brutal Soviet dictator. Responsible for the death of tens of millions of people, as well as the scourging of Marx's Utopian dream. Was Jo, in fact, an alien being?
A: No. Intergalactic beings are incapable of such a level of cruelty to other living beings. There could never be, for instance, an alien “Hitler.”
Q: But what about all those alien abductions of humans, & the resulting horrible medical experimentation we‘ve heard so much about?
A: We were just following orders.
Q: What about Gene Roddenberry. Surely he had to be an alien?
A: No. Gene Roddenberry was simply insane.
Q: Is it true that George W. Bush is an extraterrestrial?
A: Of course not! Have you forgotten that George´s mother is Barbara Bush, daughter of powerful publishing magnate Marvin Pierce, and that her great-great-uncle was Franklin Pierce, who served as president of the United States from 1853 to 1857?
Q: You forgot a “great.”
A: Beg your pardon?
Q: You forgot a“great.” Franklin Pierce was Mrs. Bush’s great-great-GREAT-uncle.
A: Whatever. At any rate, Jr. George is definitely the son of a bona fide, card-carrying Earthling. It is common knowledge, however, that George Sr. is from Caulous V, home planet of the legendary “Nerp Patrol.” That definitely makes George W. a “half-breed”— Thus the common moniker, “Bush-Lite.”
Q: In your opinion, was George W. a good President?
A: It's the policy of the Commonwealth not to not become involved in either Earth's political or religious issues. You could say it is our "Prime Directive." You could say that, but I wouldn't recommend it. Not unless you want a rabid Paramount Pictures law firm barking at your door.
Q: Aw c'mon, dish. I'm not going to tell, & who's gonna read this anyway?
A: You misunderstand me. I said it was our policy not to not become involved in such matters. Bit of an awkward way to put it, but what can you do? It's our policy. Anyway, back to your question, I'd have to say it depends on who is defining “good.” From the perspective of a Galactic Commonwealth of species seeking a relatively “clean” method of dealing with their bothersome little “human” problem,” George was the right man for the job. But from the standpoint of his ability as a leader of mankind... Well, I guess I already answered that a couple of sentences ago, didn't I?
Q: I envision a day when we humans will join together with our brothers & sisters from the stars, & we will abolish all hunger, all want, all greed. And together we will build & share our knowledge, our culture, our hopes & dreams, with other distant civilizations.
A: See “Gene Roddenberry” (above).
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TM
Productions, 2006, 2009